56.   Fletcher Ellingson The Day I Turned My Life Around

56. Fletcher Ellingson The Day I Turned My Life Around


Fletcher Ellingson The Day I Turned My Life Around



I had the pleasure of interviewing Fletcher Ellignson who took the time to share his amazing journey with us. He is a successful mindset and business coach, gives seminars with his wife, has a television show, and is a father of 5. Things were not always that great for him. When his third child was born he had lost his business, was in 20,000 dollars of credit card debt, and had no income. He shares with us what the pivotal moment was when he decided to turn his life around and what helped him all along the way. He shares who his biggest inspiration was and his advice to help other people change their mindsets. You don’t want to miss it!

Episode Transcription

Intro Plays

Ari: Welcome to whispers in bricks. My name is Ari sherbert. I’m your host, I have the pleasure of having as my guest today Fletcher Ellingson going to ask him about that first name, which is the last name and his last name, which is the last name and we’re going to talk to him about that a little bit. But let me tell you a little bit about Fletcher because he is an amazing fellow. He’s a coach, speaker, entrepreneur, and the creator of the practice of feeling good. He helps other entrepreneurs break free from financial struggle, management, overwhelm, and persistent worry. So they can spend more time doing what they love, contribute to their families and make an impact in their communities. Fletcher study with some of the best minds in the personal development industry, in addition to over 25 years of speaking and performing for audiences across the United States, he and his wife, Dr. Amy Ellingson, hosts a weekly television show during which they address topics of health, wealth, and relationships. Please help me welcome Fletcher Ellington. How are you?

Fletcher: exceedingly well, thank you very much for having me on

the show. 

Ari: Oh, I’m so so happy that you agreed to come on this show. I think, you know, your story is going to help a lot of people. I know that because I know what people go through. But let me let me start off by asking you one simple question. Sure. Fletcher, bit of an odd name, especially as a first name. What’s the story behind that?

Fletcher: You know, my parents just had a creative naming for their children. My dad likes to name Fletcher. And it’s typically like you said a last name. But he he just said, let’s, let’s give him the first name. My sister’s name is Ciana. Si, na. So we both had kind of different names. First names. I think my dad liked the meaning of the word Fletcher. Fletcher is a person who puts on the the fletching the feathers of an arrow, which help the arrow fly straight. And so that’s the, the etymology of Fletcher.

Ari: Uh huh. All right, so we are all to dad who like to torture his children by giving them odd names. I get it, I get it. Yeah, you know, it’s not the worst name in the world. Let’s be honest. Okay.

Fletcher: It’s unique, right?

Ari: It is unique, could be a lot worse. That’s for sure. That’s right. Anyway, so okay. So as you know, the name of the podcast is whispers and bricks, and the whispers of those voices telling us, you know, what the right thing to do is, and they represent the good in life, and the bricks represent the bad things that we go through in life. And as you and I both know, everybody goes through some tough times in life, everybody has a brick thrown at them at some point in time. And other as a matter of fact, I recently said that, you know, the more perfect somebody’s life seems, I guarantee you, the bigger the bricks, they’re getting hit with, 

Fletcher:I guarantee

that is so accurate,

Ari: right. So, you know, knowing you and reading your bio, it’s evident that you’re a highly successful coach, which is great. But it hasn’t always been that way for you has it? I mean, I read on your website, you lost your business $20,000 in credit card debt, a mortgage, family of five, no income food stamps. Oh my god, that must have been one heck of a brick that you got hit with. So yeah, so take us back to that time in your life. What was going on? How did it happen? Oh, my God.

Fletcher: Yeah, you bet. So my wife and I moved over to we lived on we’ve always lived in Washington State. We lived on the West Coast, which is like kind of by Seattle, Olympia. And we got an opportunity to move our manufacturing business over to a very small town in North Central Washington called Manse in Washington, next to Atlanta, Washington, which is better known but still small. And we moved our manufacturing business to a destination resort, not resort destination. Place out in the country. It was a farm and people would come and look at antiques and they’d go to the petting zoo and and so we had our our manufacturing business, we manufactured all these high quality, handmade soaps, lotions, candles, etc. And we and we sold these all wholesale them as well all over the country and retail them right they’re out of our manufacturing business and I wasn’t we were extremely passionate about this business. And I’ll tell you what our a passion can go a long way. But if you don’t have any business sense, it is only going to take you so far. And what I was lacking was with some serious business sense, and just some life experience. And when we were putting in, you know, seven days a week for the first 18 months, and we’re just having a ball, we were really having a good time. I loved it.

Ari: But now Now, were you at that point in time you were you were newlyweds or you’re just married? You have kids? Yeah,

Fletcher: we we probably, yeah, about five years into our marriage. And we already had two kids, two young kids. And so we, we were we were just burning the candle giving it all we got all that young energy, right, okay. And we just didn’t, we didn’t have the business experience. And we didn’t know how to manage our books. Well, we weren’t keeping track really well, that what was coming in what was going out, we were taking risks, because we thought that’s what you did. And to some extent you do. But it all caught up with us things went kind of sideways with our business partners. There were some conflicts of relational conflict, personality conflicts. And when we just and pretty soon we realized we were in a pretty deep hole. We could have, you know, eventually we could have gotten out of it. But the the relationships, part of it were just wasn’t wasn’t working for us. So we ended up walking away from this business that we loved, that we put our heart and soul blood sweat and tears into, walked away from it had zero ownership of it. 20 grand in credit card debt, right? That’s not the good kind of debt to have

not even close. Yeah. And we had

a mortgage because we just purchased a house. And, and then later, a little later on, we had we all ever came into our world. So we had three kids now, mortgage, no income, and nothing in the savings. And I do remember when we found out that we qualified for food stamps, and we didn’t want to take them. But at that point, we’re like, we actually need them. Yeah. And I’ll never forget going to Safeway in our town, and pulling out those food stamps. And we only use them once. Because I remember this, this the sting of using them for me. Now, there’s nothing wrong with food stamps, and I’m glad we have them for people who really need them. But for me, it was the sting of like, I ru have really hit rock bottom right, I lost everything. And I remember making a decision in that moment already. That I’ll never be in this position. Again. I’ll never be in this position, again, where I’m relying on other people’s handouts on never be in a position to get him having overdraft fees at the ATM, I’ll never be in that position again. And that was a powerful decision. Because then I began rebuilding my life.

Ari: So that certainly takes care of my question of you know, Jeff, fall to a point so low where you said, you know, I quit? I’m giving up? Well, obviously, you did reach that level, you did reach that point where you, you know, but it wasn’t I quit. The the level was, you know, you could have you could have said I quit I’m done, you know, file for bankruptcy, you know, the heck with it live on food stamps live on government subsidies, and you know, just go about your life. But you decided, no, that’s not the decision. That’s not the direction you wanted to go in. You were a fighter. You were a self preservation person. And you were going to do whatever it took to get out of that position. And my hat’s off to you. So tell me now. Okay, how, what happened? How did you do it? How did you get out of it? You know, how did you how did you rebuild? And more importantly, more importantly, and you could answer this later? You know, what was your wife’s feelings and or role in this whole situation? Because obviously, you were partners in the business. So she obviously knew where you were at. You know, what was, you know, what was her? How did she react?

Fletcher: Yeah, so we were both we were both devastated and scared. And we were fearful. We just did not know how we’re gonna make ends meet and take care of our kids. But she was a great partner. She was. I mean, we both had an optimistic viewpoint. One of the one of the big things that we had going for us was our mindset. I’ve been I’ve been a student of Personal Development and evolving our minds since I was in sixth grade and just take you back real quick. I was a little bit I was a little odd. My I remember the day my dad came out on the front porch, and I was sitting on the steps and I was reading a book and he casually was walking by and just kind of said, Hey, Flash, what’s your reading? And I said, I’m reading the power of positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. And, and I remember, he just stopped in his tracks. And he looked at me, he’s said, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. And so yeah, he said, You are a odd kid Fletcher. And but I

Ari: know, you could have turned around and said, Well, Dad, you know, you started it by naming me Fletcher.

Fletcher: Yeah, that’s right. You get you started at all. With an odd name. Yeah. But so anyway, so I’ve been a proponent of studying mindset, and how we why we do what we do for a long time. So my wife and I both had that going for us. And what I decided at that point was, I’m going to find another opportunity. Because there, there’s one thing that is never in short, in short supply, and that’s opportunity. It is everywhere, if your eyes are open, and you’re looking for it. And so my friend and I approached a very, very small company. They’re probably doing a couple $100,000 a year, and it was a tech company websites. Were just on coming, that it was the advent of websites at that point, right. And people were starting to realize, maybe we should get a website. I don’t need a website. Oh, maybe we should. Right? There was that whole conversation, right? And so we approached this, this tech company, and at this point, now, anybody can go online, and they can type if let’s say you’re looking to move to Seattle, you’re like, hey, what, I need a three bedroom, two bath in Seattle, Washington, you type it up, you get all these results. Right? Right? That technology, that program is called an ID X program. And this company that we approached, were one of the very first companies in the world to harness this technology. And we took a look at this and said, This is revolutionary. This impact is a game changer, right. And so we said, we asked the owner for a meeting, we said, we think this has national potential, and we would like to sell this. And so they hired us on on a trial basis for three months, we worked for no money. Totally 100% commission only. And we just start, we hit the road, started traveling around setting up appointments with real estate offices, and showing him this idea. And it was like brand new to them. They’d never seen it. So the response was overwhelming. And we built that company up into a, from a $200,000 a year to a multi million dollar a year company. And that’s what we just came on as partners and and began building this business. And that turned my life around financially. Wow. Yeah. And

Ari: how wonderful experience how long did that take?

Fletcher: Well, I was with the company for about, I think about 14 or 15 years. And we worked our butts off for several years, just traveling all around. And once people kind of began to understand it was we were now in demand. And I began crowding around speaking and coaching and helping other entrepreneurs, not just with this technology, but I began coaching them. Because I was also a student of mindset. And I began coaching people with how they really what was holding them back in their business. And as I was at this company, and and building this company, my passion really has always been speaking in helping I was going to be a pastor at one one time in my life. And then so I’ve always been like, in a pulpit, so to speak. Right? Right. And, but at the when I finally decided to leave the company, it was to pursue my real passion, which I’m doing now full time, which is coaching entrepreneurs and helping them get to that next level in their life.

Ari: Wow, that’s, that’s, you know, I knew we had something in common. I really did. Because basically, that that’s what happened to me as well. Where I just, you know, made that decision. And this was I mean, I started speaking right after 911 but it was part time and it was really every time I did it. I was like I was on a on a new high. And but I couldn’t give up that paycheck. You know, couldn’t give up that paycheck. And then about four and a half years ago, you know, push came to shove and I went like you know what, it’s now or never and and I left the corporate world. And I started speaking full time and I started coaching And I started, you know, very recently started this podcast, which I’m loving, I’m loving, I get to meet the greatest people, the most interesting people. It’s a wonderful thing. So I really, really love it. So let me ask you this. Your wife, first of all, she she’s Dr. Amy. And Dr. Is what kind of doctor?

Fletcher: Yeah, so, so I got remarried about? Well, I’ve been with Amy for about 10 years. So my previous marriage ended a number of years ago. And then I met Amy, and we got married. She’s a family, family physician found this. Okay, so

Ari: like a real doctor. Not like Jill Biden Doctor type thing?

Fletcher: Yeah, sure. Physician. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, so So And what’s wonderful about her is she is my equal when it comes to our hunger for personal development. And as a result of our love for this, we actually have been able to put on some seminars together. One of the things she would do is she would get discouraged, because she would see people on a regular basis for like, type two diabetes, for instance. And, you know, there was a level of frustration, because that just wasn’t seeing the progress, right? She wasn’t seeing people turn their life around their health around. And I said, Babe, you know, what? I’ve got all these skill sets, you’ve got these medical skill sets? What if we could just because one of our complaints was, I don’t have enough time in the office, you can’t change someone’s life and 30 in a 20 minute or 30 minute office visit? Right? If I said, I said, Honey, what if we get these people together for a weekend? What if What if you bring the medical I bring the mindset, and together, we have an immersion experience. So we began putting on these seminars together called diabetes SmackDown, the ultimate solution. And we began training training people what has been actually holding them back from making the changes, because the people who would come to these seminars, you know, we get almost 100 people in this room. And the number one thing that was they had in common was they would say this, I already know what I should be doing. I what I don’t know is why I don’t do the things I need to be doing. So what was what was holding them back was this lack of understanding about how the brain works, what’s motivating their actions? And how do you really get a handle on that. So on a weekend seminar, we began helping people shift their psychology so that they could begin making huge changes in their life. And the outcome was incredible. People were losing the weight, they were going from depression to feeling good. They were coming off their medications. They were in fact reversing their type two diabetes. And one of the most beautiful things was three, there are three women that I come to mind. They went on to coach with me for about another nine months after the seminar. And one year later, after that seminar, they all three completed their first ever triathlon, and one of those women was 70 years old.

Ari: Wow. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, my God, that is absolutely incredible.


Fletcher: Yeah, that’s possible when we shift our psychology. Wow.


You know, I always say I always say, it’s known that the mind is a is a tremendous muscle that doesn’t get used. I mean, we use like, 10% of our of our of our minds. And but it has such power, it literally has the power to heal, you know, and that goes into the, you know, it’s all psychology, it’s, you know, like, it’s like typical of a placebo, right, you know, you put up a medication and you give everyone placebos, and all of a sudden, even the people taking the placebos, all of a sudden they get better, and it’s like, has that happened? Because the mind is telling the body, hey, we need to do this. We need to fix this. Right? So that’s, that is absolutely amazing. And you certainly you certainly captured the the essence of, of that kind of that kind of, I don’t want to call it procedure, but that kind of attention to help. That is absolutely amazing. That’s that’s, that’s great. That’s really, really great. You have what you said you had how many kids


so we’re, we’re a blended family and we have five kids between the two of us


Ari: five kids and the five kids or they think mom and dad are doing a good job.


Fletcher: You know what they they really do? And I we just feel so fortunate, but I got to tell you, Ari. It is because we share Our love of personal development, all of our kids with the exception of one, she’s 14, but we’re looking into all of them have gone to seminars, they’ve all gone to, you know, weekend courses. They’ve all heard that the CDs that we listen to, we talk about this stuff on a regular basis with them at first, and they’ve been there have been times when they’ve been sick of it. But, but I’ll tell you what the wonderful thing is, they actually now talk about it themselves. They use the technology, they use the tools. And I just couldn’t be a happier parent. Because I, I haven’t been ramming it down their throats. But we’ve been modeling it effectively, I guess, to a point where they’re starting to use it. And that feels really good.


Ari: Wow. Yeah. So let me ask you this. Who’s the one person that you could point to that you say had the most influence on on your life and your career? And why?


Fletcher: Yeah, so gosh, it was probably, I mean, I, you know, it’s like so many people would say, it was probably Anthony Robbins, probably Tony Robbins, when I actually went to one of his live events. Because I’ve been listening a long time, kind of, but I bought his books, listen to all of his stuff. And when I went to it for that immersion weekend, you know, where you walk across the fire, that I’ll never forget it. I’ll just never forget it. Because all the concepts became, we started just implementing them during the weekend, like in an intense manner, right? I mean, that it’s like, I think it’s like 2012, it’s like, almost 40 hours of immersion. So so that was that he was one of them. I’m currently working with my I’m still in coaching, I pay almost $25,000 a year for my coaches. Oh, really? Yeah. Because I believe that it’s that valuable. I mean, personal development has allowed me to generate millions of dollars, and have created the marriage of my dreams, the life of my dreams. So I think it’s well worth it. It pays has paid me back in spades. Right. So


Ari: wow, no, that’s great. That’s really, really great. Does your wife do that? Also go for coaching?


Fletcher: Absolutely. Yeah, we were always we’re always doing a course, whether it’s an in person course or online course. You know, I really believe in the continuation of evolving our thinking. Because as I began to think differently, it allows me to produce different results. But we’ve got to change the way we think. And that’s what I help people do is literally help them think different thoughts than they then they’ve been thinking previously. And that’s a game changer.


Ari: No, I hear you know, I always said, I quote this a lot. But I said, you know, the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Absolutely. That’s insanity. But you know what, that’s what we do. That’s what we all do. And, and you’re grabbing that guy girl and saying, Hey, listen, stop doing what hasn’t worked? Right. Change your mind. Right. And that’s, and that’s what does it? And that’s absolutely, absolutely. So let me ask you something, if people want to get in touch with you, all right, for advice for coaching for that, what would be the best way for them to do that?


Fletcher: Yeah, go to either one of my domains, you can go to my, just my first and last name Fletcher ellingson.com, or the practice of feeling good.com, which is the that’s the name of all my curriculums, the practice of feeling good in business and in life, because I really do believe that when we feel good, it puts us in a resourceful state. When we’re not feeling good. We simply are cut off from being resourceful. We’re in an unreasonable state. And so therefore, we’re cut off from progress. So what I do is I help people rewire their thinking that rewire their brain and rewire their nervous system, so they can learn how to feel good on demand, because when we feel good, we have access to progress. And that’s what we all want. Isn’t it


already? Absolutely. Progress? Absolutely. Progress feels good. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. You know, even the little things, you know, you change, you change a light bulb, you know, that’s been out for two years, you know, all of a sudden the light comes as go Wow. No, that’s I feel pretty good about that. You know,


yeah, it doesn’t take much to feel good. It really doesn’t. It really doesn’t.


Ari: Now, before we go, is there anything else you can you’d like to share with my audience some words of wisdom, something they can live by something, you know, that you feel strongly about?


Fletcher: Yeah. So one of the main things I help my clients do is to create an empowering story about their life. And so, you know, my best advice to those listening is really ask yourself, what is the story that I have about life? You know, is it a? Is it a? Is it a story of struggle and hardship and things never work out? I never catch a break. It happens for everybody else, you know, what’s the story? Is that serving you? Or is it disempowering you? And if the answer is that it’s not serving you, if it’s just empowering you, I encourage you to create a story that life is always working out for us create a story that feels good that that pulls us forward into action. Make it make it just an incredible story. Because we always have we’re always making it up anyways. So make something up that feels good and serves your life.


Ari: Wow. Great words to live by. Absolutely, Fletcher. Thanks so much for sharing your story with my audience. Good luck going forward. You’ve been listening to whispers in Brixton. I’m your host Irish Shaman. Until next time, listen to the whispers avoid the bricks and never ever give up on your dreams. Bye for now.