Garry Jones shares his remarkable story with us! He has overcome many bricks, from almost drowning to a painful divorce. Garry also shared things that he thought were bricks that turned out to be a whisper. Finally, he shares his best advice for getting through any brick. You don’t want to miss it!
Episode Transcription
Intro Plays
Ari: welcome to whisper spirits. My name is Ira Sherman. I’m your host I have with me today Gary Jones. Gary is a transformational coach, martial arts master, international speaker and number one best selling author. He worked for 20 years in private industry starting on the shop floor to become a general manager responsible for 1100 staff. It was in this environment that he discovered his passion for developing people helping many attain top level careers worldwide. He also runs a why Thai boxing gym, I’ll pronounce that right, which combines his love of physical fitness with bringing out the very best in his students through his 40 plus years of experience. Gary has a strong belief in achieving measurable results quickly and effectively. His unique experiences in the worlds of business, martial arts, physical and mental health and spiritual development, combined to create positive change in the lives and businesses of his clients. His vision is to have a lasting impact on 300 million people of the world. Wow. To leave a legacy of more smiles in the world. Please help me welcome Gary Jones. Gary, how are you?
Garry: Very well. Thank you. And thank you for having me on board. Oh, absolute pleasure.
Ari: My pleasure. Really. So people can’t see this. But I can because it’s in print. You’re named Gary is spelled with two R’s. Kind of an odd spelling. Kind of an odd spelling for the name Gary, what’s the story behind that?
Garry: That’s a Celtic spelling us the the normal We just want our that’s a shortened version of Gareth. But the carry with two R’s. It means spear in Celtic languages, particularly Welsh. Ah,
Ari: okay. We just use the Gary Jr. Why and it doesn’t mean anything. But hey, that’s great. So you are a spear. Wonderful. Now, as you know, the name of this podcast is whispers and bricks, the whispers of those voices telling us what the right thing to do is and they represent the good in life. And the bricks represent the bad things that we go through in life. God knows. We all get hit with bricks throughout our lives. Some more, some less, some bigger, some smaller, but at the end of the day, we’re all everybody goes through something. Now you seem to have a pretty impressive bio, starting out at the bottom on the shop floor working up, working your way up rising up to a point where you’re sponsible for 1100 employees. That’s got to be major. But life wasn’t always so rosy for you was it? Let’s Let’s start. Let’s start back at the beginning. All right. I think you mentioned to me you were like six years old when you got hit with your first brick.
Can you tell us about that?
Garry: Yeah, yeah. Well, recently I got asked that question of what’s something that triggered you what caused you to go down this line of thinking of helping people and, and I, I can remember distinctly being in a school playground. And we all have voices in our head. There’s nothing crazy about having voices in our head. We all have them. But mine were telling me, this is an illusion. And you’re just here to record what’s going on? For a six year old, that’s pretty crazy, I guess ready to say loudly and particularly my, my grandmother was like, you know, sort of very religious. I got dragged off to Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Church of England, anything to knock this me because if you sat there saying you’re talking to the gods and what have you, because that’s the way you interpret it. Then we use we’re going to well,
Ari: were you like, Were you having like hallucinations, or were you just just hearing voices or just hearing just hearing voices? Uh huh.
Garry: And the thing is, then when when that happens, you conditioned out of it, you cease to listen. Then there were there are occasions when I was 15 years old, and then roll in occasions that reoccurred through my life where you accept them and go with them. And then you reject it again as well. Because socially fitting in with the world and what the world expects of you, is not that you’re acting upon voices in your head. It’s just not the right thing to do as far as society understands.
Ari: Yeah, I can understand that. Yeah, reminds me of Did you ever see the movie? A Beautiful Mind? Yeah. Russell Crowe. Yeah. So, you know, kind of what her mind although he was he was he besides the voices in his head, he had the hallucinations, you know. So now I’m at age. So that was the age of six, and you’re getting battered around and, you know, trying to figure yourself out, I guess. But things I think get started to straighten out. And you mentioned to me that when you were 17, you were listening to some of those whispers, and you actually avoided being hit with a huge brick. Can you tell us about that?
Garry: Yeah, well, at that time, bit of a crazy youth time of my life. I was living in a house with a group of other males. They were all in in a band, in fact, and we wanted this crazy idea we were going to go to the Maldives. Scuba diving. Great, fantastic. Now I’m the one that put up the money, put it on my Visa card, which is okay. But as it happens with people of that age, Everybody pulled out
Ari: how many? How many were? How many? Were they there?
Were there were four of us going? Okay, and
so you got you got stuck with the bill for four people and you’re the only one?
Garry: Well, that’s the way I’m viewing it, you know, so the bricks that you’re talking about? I have a I have a thought and a precept that very often those bricks are also gifts to you. And this one in this particular case was to me by the time we the tickets have got the flight on the flight number, but the time where to go there’s just me, so I decide not to go. voice is saying just there’s no point don’t go. And that plane was hijacked. That specific Lane number was hijacked. A lot of hijacks were happening at that period of life. You know, I’m slightly older gentleman. No, not so much now.
Ari: When was when
nobody really got hurt? Nobody really got hurt. Nobody got you know, but yeah, but didn’t have been a good experience.
Ari: You know, getting hijacked is like crazy. What when was that? What year was that? Wow. Do you remember
in Celebes? That’d be 83 8309 83
Garry: Yeah, what airline was like you don’t mind? If you don’t mind me asking. Do you remember what airline was? Airing? I don’t remember any Air India flight being hijacked. Okay. No, it also reminds me there was a there was an airplane. And I don’t remember I had a friend who was on an airplane that was hijacked in the Middle East. And I forgot what they landed, whether it was it was Lebanon, or Jordan or I forgot what but they were held for, I think a couple of weeks. And until they finally got until they were finally freed. And yeah, he suffered psychological issues, obviously. from that. So you know, I hear so even though you say that, you know, nobody was hurt, thank God. But at the end of the day, psychologically, I guarantee you there were people that were very, very scarred. There must have been must have been alright. But again, you had that whisper saying don’t go don’t go and you didn’t go and you avoided that brick. That’s, you know, that’s it by the way. It’s a wonderful thing, you know? Kinda have to thank God for that one. Now, um, life moves on. But this time you were 19 when you got a major brick, a major brick that hate you? Something to do with a swimming or drowning? I don’t remember you want to tell us about it.
What do you get the signs you get the whispers before you do so. My first marriage I’m in my second marriage now but my first marriage that lady and we weren’t married at the time but the lady I ended up marrying was a good deal older than me. So much so that at 19 My I went to school with what would be my step daughter. She’s five years younger than me. No, well, yeah. And my stepson he was would have been seven years younger than me. But at 19 We’re walking along the beach. It’s a quite a notorious area in Wales for some riptides, but it was okay that the undersea was okay. And it was a dead poor points on the beach. That was the Whisper you know pay attention to I very often tell Not to my clients pay attention, more become more consciously aware of those voices and things that are telling you what to do or what not to do. But we ignored it. We were just playing in the waves. And then a big wave came over. Big, big way. Now I’ve previously thought 19 I’d already been in experiences of like, rescuing people, I suppose in water, and all my certificates to do it we all get trained to do in lifesaving, how to put your arm around somebody and pull them away. That’s saffron. That’s the lady’s name that I was with was really in a panic. And when you’re trying to hold somebody that’s in an absolute panic, flailing arms, it’s difficult. Now Anthony, the boy with well, he was he’s a level headed guy and a good swimmer. Although at the time, he was only 15. He still has no problem. You’re all touch the bottom it’s it’s okay. Well, then he couldn’t. And then when I looked around the particular beach we were on from World War Two. There’s what’s called pillboxes. There are by 10 meters by 10 meters concrete block stations that were held machinegun posts, and that looked like a tiny little.on The Horizon thinking. We really have been taken out to see boy a riptide saving one person you can do trying to save two that are panicking and flailing I know. So you have to make some decisions. We are going to drain or do you do the unsinkable? Do you swim away and leave them? I did. I swam away. Now the waves were pretty big at this time. And they were screaming you know, for a long time. I didn’t like anybody say my name. Because of the associations if what happened then? Because then he went quiet. And I don’t hear them screaming my name. We I had to push them away to save me. Because I still had the belief that somehow I could get to shore and get more help. That’s that was what was driving me. But then I got caught in a riptide and I just I was getting taken further out to sea. So then you have to come to another decision. Is this the inevitable and I’d love to start studying chivalry. And there’s a saying in that but you you tackle death you fight death until every last breath. But on that last breath if it’s the inevitable, except it with grace. And I thought that was it. I thought this is it. So just accepted with grace. And I have to admit it was quite a beautiful experience in a way which sounds crazy at first it was horrendous have taken a water and salt water and but once I’d set within it’s fine. But then, then I could see in the right in the distance. Antony getting out on the beach, getting out on the beach.
A 15 year old and I thought myself a strong swimmer. So without going too long a length into the story. Somehow I find the strength or maybe the tide changed and helped me at that point. Because I don’t think you can swim against tides either agree or maybe the latter was the reason that we both got out. I ended up with another gentleman going back in swimming back into the sea to get suffering out. She was in a terrible state then you know and nobody really tells you too much details about giving the kiss of life is the amount of buy or you have to fish out the mags and everything really to to rescue them. She spent three days in a hyper thermia bath. She did recover. The strangest thing is really on that night. That night after it had happened. They
met limit. Let me stop you for a minute. Let me just stop you for a minute because I’m trying to. I’m trying to understand what’s going on here because I can’t believe what I’m hearing. So if the three of you were in the water, right, it was you saffron and Anthony, right? Yeah, you get pulled out in front with a riptide. Okay, yeah, she’s flailing he’s flailing. You’re still keeping a level head, you realize that if you can evolve
you’ve got so much. Not so much to be honest. It’s kind of difficult to
Ari:alright, but But I’m saying so you just you make a decision that, you know, if I try and save them, we’re all gonna drown. I’ve got to save myself, you start going back towards shore. Right? And then you get pulled out again. Is that correct?
Garry: Yeah, there’s a particular where we were as a place called tower in in Abu Dhabi. So there are two tides that fold into each other and where they fold. This is where it got swept to, then they’re just pulling you back out again.
Ari: So then you and then and then you look at the shore and you see Anthony coming out, walking out. Alright, is that at this point? Where is saffron? Uh, you know, you lost sight of her. You don’t know where she is? haven’t got a clue. Yeah, you swim back. You come back to shore, you may able to make it back to shore, you find another guy. And then you go back into the water to try and save saffron, which you ultimately did.
Is that is that? Is that what you’re telling me?
Yeah. Wow, that
Garry: was actually two guys. And they were from Liverpool. So the one ran to get the Coast Guard. Because you remember that time? There were no mobile phones or anything. All right. So he ran to get the Coast Guard. We got up on the sand dunes, we could see her rolling in the sea. He actually said to me that I’m not too good a swimmer. But if we go back in together, do you think we could get it which on, you know, in from a logical reason is stupid to do? That was a silly thing we did in a way. But the result was the right result. It could have gone horribly wrong the other way. You know, and then it could have been him and me and suffering again. Right. But it worked. But it didn’t work out. Again. The belief was there. We could get her out. Oh,
man. Okay, so what happened after that? So she was she was in a I would say hypothermia bath.
Garry: Yeah. Well, the ambulance managed to get as far as it could to the beach. And her her mother, Anthony. And she went away in the ambulance. So I stayed because I knew the Coast Guard was coming. And the Coast Guard you know, she’d been saved and gone. Your memory can play real tricks. I’m sure. I’m sure you from your own experience already have this, you know, but because there were people on the beach that we were trying to get to help us a note. Nobody would people were looking at us like we’re stupid apart from these two guys from Liverpool. And, but when I remember the Coast Guard, it’s sort of almost like I was alone. No, no, no, I couldn’t have been but as my recollection is I was alone on that beach and just told them she’s she’s safe. She’s fine. She’s gone. And when the when they left, I just wanted to go back into the sea. That experience had been so beautiful. which just sounds crazy isn’t it sounds absolutely crazy to say it was so beautiful. Not the drowning the pot on past that I’ve just letting go and surrendering was was amazing. And and maybe it was, you know, fear of a concert. I didn’t know she was going to live or die then and feeling the responsibility and guilt. Maybe there maybe it was just a coward’s way. I don’t know. But I just remember that I just wanted to be back in the sea. And it was it was a really difficult thing not to go back in. Wow.
Ari: Wow. Okay, so, um, what? Let me ask you this, okay, after this whole episode. I mean, did you ever fall to a point so low that you said to yourself, you know what, I can’t do this. I quit. I’m giving up on my dreams, you know, I’m out, you know, because it kind of sounds like that’s where you’re at. At that point. I don’t know if that’s true or not. But if it is, my question then is how did you make the comeback? How did you get out of that depression, you know that severe depression and and cert and totally turn your life around, you know, to where you are today.
Garry: Hmm. I would think that particular occasion wasn’t the sort of low points of that but there have been times before that. And I used to use a really stupid strategy which was I don’t think a lot of people that reached a low do this will be play morose music. Almost like in this belief, if you can take yourself lower to the bottom of the well that you spin back out. And it just doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. Yeah, that that’d be the last thing I teach clients that I work with no But those were the type of things I was trying to do around 1516. A lowest point, I would guess, in my life after that would have been the end of that first marriage and, and leaving my 14 year old daughter that’s, you know, in interview techniques when I was in the corporate world, that drowning situation, I would use that as a technique. I’ve asked people, what was the hardest thing they’d ever done? And then I’d bang, I say, I, I swept, sorry, I swam away from my kids and let them dry. Is the statement I would make? Yeah, of course, embellishing stuff slightly to have a dramatic effect on them. Because I wanted to know truth from people in an interview. But it wasn’t even when I look back now, it it’s gone past that the hardest thing I’ve ever done was leaving my daughter. At that time, I’d have to say, now I’ve got a beautiful relationship with my daughter. But it was difficult. For for a while it was really difficult. And I contemplated checking out then. Absolutely. How did I get out of it? Just knowing that something supports you in the end, if again, if you surrender, what did I do in the drowning I surrendered? It’s almost like if you accept the death may be the next thing. It isn’t. You know, it is a bit like the Bible story perhaps of like, having to sacrifice his son, and then send that’s fine. You don’t have to be you just you were willing to. If you’re willing to die in service of others, or rescue and others, then you don’t have to. Well,
Ari: so what are you doing now? What are we up to now?
Garry: I love running the Maui Thai martial arts has been something seven years old when I started. So now it’s 48 years I’ve been doing martial arts. Because I see the change in people. That’s one aspect. That’s like my hobby aspect, I guess. And then in the day times I’m working with whether it’s business people, elite athletes, or just somebody who’s struggling with depression, anxiety, different forms of mental health. Particularly what I found in life really is that those that do things like business, sports exceptionally well also do depression and anxiety exceptionally well. If it starts to go in the other direction, there’s no half measures, they do everything at 100%. And it’s understanding that they have that inbuilt strategy, that’s what you can use to turn it around and just reshape it into a positive aspect. All of that takes up a lot of time. Yeah, we all know what the world is going through at the moment. Absolutely. Isn’t there never really. And I end up doing particularly from military in that particular part of the world. I do that for free. Really? Because of what they’re doing for us. Sure.
Ari: Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, you know, it’s, it’s quite a story really is to, you know, send a shiver up my spine. I have to be honest with you, you know, that was absolutely amazing. Before we go, is there anything else that you would like to share with my audience? Maybe some advice, some words of wisdom?
Garry: Yeah. I don’t know if you can see it on. Here. Okay. I’ll put that up a bit closer. That’s my core belief. Except nothing. believe nothing, check everything. Sounds very cynical, but it’s a process. Newton didn’t accepted Einstein didn’t accept or believe the status quo. They questioned. Questioning everything leads you to growth. Asking the right questions, asking the wrong questions. What’s going to go wrong today? Yeah, that’s the wrong question. Asking the right questions. What’s gonna go right today? But the check everything’s the really important thing. It means try it. Yeah. Somebody says something to you have a new perception, a new way of looking at it and rather than just reject it We’re so slammed down or sensor it. Who is trying? Maybe it does work. Maybe that strategy is for you, after all.
Very nice, very nice words of wisdom. I like I like to think about somebody once said to me, trust, but verify.
Garry: Yeah. A big influence on me in business was Dr. Edwards Deming. You know, that’s the highest quality award you can get in in Japan. And he said In God We Trust in everybody else must provide data.
I always started and God we trust all of this pay cash.
Not for much longer because long, she’s gone.
Ari: Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. So Gary, if people want to get in touch with you to learn more about what you do? What would what would be the best way for them to do that? Do you have a website? Email? Yeah.
Garry: So website, W WW. Gary, that’s maybe that’s we two hours GA double R Y. Jones, J o n e. S coaching.com. Facebook is a good way to get hold of me. That’s you can find me on Gary Goldstar Jones. And my email is Gary Jones. coaching@gmail.com. Let’s make it all very easy. It sounds simple
Ari: enough sound simple enough. Well, Gary, thanks so much for sharing your story of my audience, giving people the motivation that they need to persevere in all the struggles in life. Good luck going forward. You been listening to us prison bricks, and I’m your host, Gary Schomer. Remember, if you feel like you’re stuck in the mud, like you’re spinning your wheels, wasting time, your career, your business your life. If you know you’re not enjoying all the success, satisfaction and significance that you desire, then it’s time for you to book a call with me at call with ari.com Check out my whispers and bricks Academy. Until next time, listen to the whispers avoid the bricks and never ever give up on your dreams. Bye for now.
