Justen Arnold Don’t Be Afraid To Express Yourself


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 Justen Arnold is a father, business owner, coach, author, and podcast host. He has been hit with a lot of bricks. From being a victim of sexual assault as a young child, attempted murder, car crashes, and so much more! He describes some of his experiences and the whispers that helped him throughout his life. He reminds us not to hope for a perfect life but the strength to endure a difficult one. Life is not ideal for anyone, but we can remain realistically optimistic about our lives. Enjoy both the highs and lows of life. Both are a gift. Finding ways to express ourselves is vital for ourselves and can also help others. He also points out that self-care is not selfish. It allows us to give those we love the best version of us.


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Episode Transcription


Intro Plays


Ari: Welcome to whispers and bricks. My name is Barry Sherman. I’m your host I have with me as a guest Justin Arnold’s who is just an Arnold well, just an aural is a committed husband, active father of three adventurer nutritionist, strength and conditioning coach, musician, best selling author, public speaker, consultant, and multi certified movement and life optimization coach. Man, I’m tired just reading all that. He is the founder of flex mobility and performance a multifaceted health and wellness organization, and host of the successful podcast one step further. With more than 15 years in the health and fitness industry. He also runs a popular YouTube channel and has written or contributed to dozens of articles for various blogs, publications and podcasts. As a survivor of severe childhood sexual and psychological abuse, attempted murder, and severe trauma. Justin is on a mission to take care of all people, whether it’s families, individuals or acquaintances through his holistic philosophy regarding physical, nutritional, mental and spiritual well being. He believes that if people have access to the best tools and knowledge in a sympathetic environment, they will be able to achieve their fullest human potential. When he’s not working out reading or writing, you can find them hiking, playing drums, drawing or meditating, sometimes with his family, sometimes by himself, because he believes to be the best version to others. You have to work you have to do the inner work and find time to love and work on yourself. From a philanthropic standpoint he regularly donates to and volunteers with various organizations, including his church and mission work with NGO ministries. Please help me welcome Justin Arnold. Justin, how are you?


Justen: I’m doing great. I didn’t you realize when you hear those things, you do that and I am all those things. So it’s just incredible. In this short life, I’ll actually be 41 Tomorrow I’m having a birthday and it’s just I still feel, I think 40 One’s a new 21. For me, I feel like I’m in the best shape of my life. I’m living a really good life. And I feel super blessed. But it wasn’t always that way as you got a little bit of a taste in that story. And, and yeah, I mean, we, before we got on here, like I was telling you like, like, life definitely comes in seasons. I was literally just in Mexico a couple of weeks ago with my wife on a movement retreat. And here I am back in Rochester, New York, where we just got like two feet of snow. Yes. It’s kind of a euphemism for life. Right.


Ari: You go. There you go. Let me ask you something. How do you deal with having two first names?


Justen: You take my middle name, man. Yeah. Oh, Shane Arnold, my middle name is Shane Shane.


Ari: Three first names?


Justen: I do I have three first names. How do I deal with that? It’s not the first time that even asked that on a podcast and for some of Vanessa. I don’t know. I gotta get Steve his name for a reason. Maybe it’s a joke. I don’t know. I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you a funny story with my first name. It’s for those that are listening. And don’t know me it’s spelled with an EN. So as J usde. In instead of n i n. People ask me why I was like, you’re gonna have talked to my parents. My mom was a hippie. So maybe they that was their way of being different in 81. But the funny story is in first grade talk about like, this wasn’t the most traumatic thing, but obviously, it must have been traumatic it as a first grader. My teacher literally sent me to the principal’s office for purposely spelling my name wrong. I was spelling it right. Which I did not believe me. Oh, you’re not believe me that it was an E? And she’s like, No, nobody spells her name with an E and I’m like, It’s yet and then people were like, Are you related to Arnold Schwarzenegger? And I’m like, No, that’s is my last name. Like, all these weird things. And then there’s other stuff like, oh, man, oh, the way people pronounce it or you pronounce just 10 like they will emphasize Chen. Just just it like just a name and I don’t go butchering all your all his name. It is what it is. I am happy with it.


Ari: Yeah, I guess your parents were having fun with it as well. Okay, so as you know, the name of this podcast is whispers and bricks, the whispers of those voices telling us what the right thing to do is and they represent the good in life. And the bricks represent the bad things that we go through in life and trust me, everybody has a brick thrown at them at some point in time or another in their lives. Some more bricks, some less bricks, some bigger bricks, some smaller bricks, but life is not a straight ride. It’s not a straight path. You know, there are many, many ups and downs. Now there were several reasons why I asked you to be a guest on the show. See on the outside looking in, you look like anybody else good marriage, great kids, business owner, etc. But after our initial conversation, the real truth came out the bricks that you were hit with sexual abuse, broken neck, car crashes, etc, which we’ll get to later on. It was then that I knew that there were people, my audience, were going through some of the same things that you had gone through. They had been hit with brick after brick, much like what you had gone through. And they needed to hear and to know that they could get through the trials and tribulations, the same way that you did. They needed to know that the old whispers out there that could save them. You got hit with some really, really bad bricks, and it started at an early age. Can you take us back to those early years? And tell us what was happening? What was going on with




Justen: Yeah, for sure. So we all have stories, and you know, I don’t want when I go on mine, I don’t want to act like what was me. And that’s not why I put my story out there. I want it to be encouragement. And like you said, we all got breaks, we’ve all got stories, we’ve all got pain, male got trauma. Yeah, mine started at a very early age, even before I you know, I guess we’re developing the memories of swords. Apparently, I was supposed to be I had a twin that didn’t survive. Somehow I survived, you know, and my twin did not come birth. My mom can go down the explanation of that. That’s just the information I was given. I know, it’s something about the umbilical cord or whatever. But at about age five, six, yeah. You know, this is the time I’m living in the south of Chicago. And I had two older siblings and, and, and, you know, my parents just doing the best job that they can chose the babysitter that was a family friendly, think family friendly, good idea. Well, between the ages of five and six, so for about a year or so I would be molested and abused and, and and you know, without going into great detail like use your imagination, like some of the worst things you can imagine somebody doing to a five or six year old boy or happening. And because it was so traumatic as we know now with psychology, that stuff sticks, so that you know those things are in my mind. And they have been and if you really know the science behind things that happen before the age of seven, literally get ingrained into your central nervous system. And so that’s where like health is such a big deal with me, because I’m aware of these things. So I know other people who do physical pain or issues or things like that, why I’m also a life coach kind of manifests itself at a very early age. And so like, you know, a father, yelling at his wife, or neglecting his kids could have been because of some traumatic event that happened when you’re younger. Me being self having the self awareness and knowing that makes me more aware of these situations, because I’m able to honestly address it and know that just because he’s happened to me, I didn’t have control over it. So we sometimes when we go through these things, we tend to blame ourselves or we try to avoid it and run away from it. But we never really actually can run really got to face it. And some of these can have a purpose to them. Even though it’s suck, let’s be honest. You’re I’m five or six. So I’m not weak for just because I’m a man now and I was avoidant, and doesn’t make me weak for this, like I allowed that to happen to it. But sometimes as men, we can look at it as a weak point or light. So we don’t want to talk about it. But I think we need to because it’s still festered that it’s even if we don’t think so. So a little bit more like besides the molestation, like, it got so bad to the point that he knew there was no way out, I assume I’m not his mind. But he wanted to set the house on fire with us inside. But you ended up leaving my oldest brother who did survive. But he eventually last minute he took me in my other brother, and got us out, took us to the neighbors and look like an almighty savior. And he got away with it for a little bit. Until I I was the one that spoke up. And I only know that I spoke up because my mom told me later on I don’t really remember, I just remember my mom beating this stereo steering wheel and this one this parts in the book beating this year. And I was like saying I’m gonna kill him, I’m gonna kill him. But what parent wouldn’t want to kill somebody that you entrusted your children and again, this is going on for a year. The crazy thing is, you know, we go into a new life and, and moving into a house and the court cases with that is going on. And you know, you think, oh, a new fresh start, but an older sibling comes into our house and continues abuse or that babysitter left off. And that went on until about I was the age of nine. And and so yeah, very early age people. You know, this wasn’t at all over there that I realized, like love and care if people were supposed to care about me care about me literally like was altered until I was like, able to address it because it’s like, it’s like the people that were supposed to take care of me love me, you know, protect me we’re doing pretty much the opposite. Like are abusing me and raping me and and and treating me like like, just not ideal, you know and I could have and I went through bouts of you know, mental health and and things when I was younger but it was really like finally like finding various outlets and tools and and realize, man this this is just a chapter in my life that occurred and and while it was it was a horrible thing that happened at I would, in my mind, I want to say I was like 12, or 13, when I was like, they control me for so long, and I’m not gonna let them control me and my mental state, and I knew that being depressed or sad, or even trying to run away, and we, like I said, can’t really run away, they’re still in control. So from a very 12 year old, like, like, I’m not gonna let you control me kind of attitude, it’s evolved in a much more mature approach. But in that beginning stages, it was like, it was actually a good approach to kind of like, you know, what, I can’t control what they did, but I can control myself and my mindset around everything moving forward, because I knew that if I let these events continue to affect my mind, State and other things, and if I didn’t have the self awareness around it, it would affect all my relationships moving forward for the rest of my life. So anyways, I know I kind of went on there. But yeah, it started at a fairly early age, there’s other things I had. And I remember neighbor, kids, like even going on, like, throw me down in the gutter and, and, like, beat me up pretty regularly. And, and being called names and, and being bullied. No, I was, I was, I was never a fat kid. But I was only a chunkier kid. But even back then, people were me. You were mean to me, and like, it’s like, I look back, and it’s like, you know, it just was part of life. But you know, I know people deal with some of these things now, or have dealt with it. And I, you know, I, and I get it, like, there’s times where you want to give up. But I really truly believe we’re all meant for a purpose on this planet. And I really believe that, like, the devil was in overtime, for lack of a better way to phrase it to really get rid of me quick. And, you know, in my stubborn, optimistic, you know, realist perspective, and I was like, you know, what, I’m gonna do everything I can to make this world a better place, because there’s a lot of pain. And I realized, hurt people hurt people. So even though it sucked, what happened to me, these people are hurting too. And they’re just trying to put their pain onto me. And I’m not going to let that I’m not going to let them win in that. So if anything, I want to help younger people, I want to help people with whatever whether it be it started with physical with my personal training, and then I do the live coaching with the metal because I realized if I can help you in just a few people here and there, hopefully, hopefully, it’ll have a domino effect in the lives that they come in contact with, to prevent things that happen to me and may sound simple, but I truly believe work like this can help. So


Ari: no, I hear. And it’s, you know, so you had all those bricks thrown at you early on. But then the Wisner started to come into you saying, like, No, you don’t need to suffer, you don’t need to, you know, take this into yourself, and, you know, just, you know, hide it, so to speak, or, you know, not let anybody know about it, it’s, you know, they say it’s very important, you know, part of the healing process, in general is speaking is talking about it, all right, because if you suppress it, it can be so much worse. So, you know, my hat’s off to you that you’re willing to talk about it and you’re willing to, you know, let people into your life, you know, in a certain area where most people would not, you know, want to do that. But you know, I think you have, you know, an altruistic motive. And my hat’s off to you to tell it tell us a little bit more about you. I mean, you mentioned to me you had broken your neck. Uh, you you were in carpet. What what? Yeah. Talk to me, man. Talk to me,


Justen: like, so like, yeah, like, like, yeah, so, like you mentioned early on, people look at me, and they assume everything’s good. And I’ve even had people like, you’ve got great genetics, and everything’s good. Everything always works. I’ve had people say that. And that was part of motivation of like, even writing the book, I had a friend and plant the idea when I was on a mission trip to write the book, but then I was like, Nah, nobody wants to hear my stuff. Like, you know, everyone’s got stuff to deal with. But I realized I kind of had to, and if I could, like, positively affect one person by this book, even if that person is me. But yeah, so So yeah, a lot has happened. We again, we all have stuff, but like, they may look like I’m chasing pain, and maybe I was at one point, but I’m just an adventurer, and I want to enjoy life. You got one life. And you know, even I say this, like even though there’s storms, storms happen all the time, like life never gets easy. It’s always challenging. It’s not like if you make a certain amount of money, it’s all of a sudden going to be rainbows and unicorns, that’s not going to happen. But even through the pain, even though the trauma even through the hardship, you can still enjoy some of those times when I’m trying to enjoy life. Yeah, accidents happen. So I’ve been in several car wrecks. Not all my faults, and one thing I’m like driving crazy. One was in 2005, for example, where I was managing a restaurant at the time when I was going to pick up supplies and this I lived in Kentucky. And it never snows really where we’re at like, like so they don’t really know how to handle it. So the roads are like super slick. And I remember I don’t I remember all the details. I just remember somebody some of the blades and next thing I knew somebody in front of me slammed on the brakes. I said I knew I was in the hospital. The police report basically said that I would propelled like a helicopter basically airborne and slammed into another vehicle. I guess my vehicle lost control, I hit a pole and then I hit a vehicle or something. Anyways, I was found in the path hanging out the passenger side window because my seatbelt had ripped off, broken off. I ended up having nine staples in my head, I fractured at least one vertebrae in my neck. So basically a break been on a clean break where I was paralyzed, but it did affect some nerve endings in my body. And so I had a neck brace, I had this like mountain on top of my head, it looked like it was literally like, somebody had put a softball inside it. And and, and I took months to recover from In fact, my dad was in Illinois came back and so this was 2005. So you’re looking at is like, you know, so I’m like about 2425 years old. And my dad came two days later, thank God he was there literally my vehicles destroyed and I can’t drive him drugged up and everything else he might bring in a penetrating pen hemorrhaging, so I had to go back to the hospital and get a drain because it was like the pain literally felt like it was my head was gonna explode. 2007 I had a snowboarding accident again, just avid outdoors person avid snowboarding, this wasn’t my first time just on some like, click some hills in southern Indiana. And, and again, it snows there but not like it did that day. It was like we hit a middle of a snowstorm. And so they they it’s like a mixture of manmade. So this is a way to explain to me that mixture of manmade snow and just right between the snowstorm and the wind and it was really slick. So when I came off a jump, I landed and I just normally I’m fine. But I had no control. I lost control. I don’t really remember what happened. It just felt like I broke my arm. I didn’t break my arm, I broken my neck, or fractured my neck in two places so bad. Somehow I was able to walk. I’m not making this up. But apparently the way the doctor it affected again, all the nerve endings in my left arm went to this Podunk

Indiana hospital, they don’t know what’s wrong, they put me in a sling and send them away. So I’m back to back to Lexington, Kentucky, which in the time was like an hour and a half drive hitting all these bumps and everything else. I get a call at 7am I’m not like trying to dramatize this. This is a legit story. 7am I get a call from Lexington hospital. And she’s like one of the best hospitals in the country. Like they’re like don’t move again and what’s on the way and they don’t tell me anything else. You just hang up. I’m like, what’s going on? I found out I got to the hospital and I just saw like doctors shaking their head looking at me like they got me in the neck brace they got me like, like when the they picked me up, they put me in one of those like, like orange like, like I was like basically I couldn’t move. And I’m like what’s going on? Anyways, apparently, that hospital sent my X rays down there and overnight, they checked him out my my vertebrae to the two vertebrae that were fractured. I think C six and C seven but don’t quote me on that. I’d have to go look, the two that were fractured was was bad enough that like if I would have hit the wrong bump, if I would have slept the wrong way the night before. Like if I would have turned my head like I could have completely broken them and been paralyzed. Like this is what the doctor was telling me. No, I did not sue anybody or anything else. It is what it is. And I looked at it again. People call me crazy. I was grateful. Like I was optimistic I could have been and this is like my whole life. This is just the story like this happens. Things could have been way worse. Like with the correct things could have been I could have been dead. Like with the birth. I think it all started with a birth like I was born in my twin was not like I’m grateful I get life to do again and do better. And that’s why like I show up in the relationship so I can go on and on source. Yeah, I broke my neck. I’ve torn this shoulder like all four rotator cuff muscles in his shoulder. I’ve injured my hip. i i What are some other crazy things that have happened? I remember one car wreck where my vehicle completely flipped over I was in the hospital. I owe to a week before I was gonna get married. Here’s another one a week before I was gonna get married. And maybe people can relate to this might even have worse stories but like it’ll be an optimist and be a realist. But like a week before I got married, I was rushed to the hospital felt like literally someone who’s ripping my skull open.


Real quick. I went to a doctor, they just thought I had migraines. I’ve never had my hair in my life and I took this medicine I woke up at midnight and literally felt like somebody’s taking their hands and ripping over the back of my skull. It’s like it had to be the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It brought me to tears and like I was like it was I can’t really connect it any other pain I’ve ever add to my life. And so they did a spinal tap juice and fluid did all these tests, I stayed for a few days, they really didn’t know. Finally, I think like three or so days later, they came in and said I had a rare or new form of meningitis. So they sent it off to the state lab to be researched. They asked my permission, I said, Sure, whatever is in the hospital for another weekend. And so that just kind of like wiped me. And then we got married. And then a month later, I was in the hospital because my appendix almost burst which they correlated to the meningitis. It didn’t burst, thank God, but it almost burst. And so like that I removed, which completely being in the health and wellness and nutrition actually helped me because I work with a lot of people have gut issues. I was one of those guys before the appendix thing. I could eat and do whatever I want. As long as I stayed active, you know what I mean? Like nothing really bothered me, as long as I stayed active, which I’m a pretty active guy. After that, like everything, I became lactose intolerant, I couldn’t handle breads, I couldn’t handle all these different things. My gut would inflame for no reason I became really gassy. And I’m like, I can’t do this. So But it got me to really explore food and nutrition. And because I’m all this person to like, I don’t want to just eat chicken, broccoli, rice and salad. I want to eat delicious foods. How can we do this, but keep in planning the inflammation down. And so I’ve really discovered that this was in 2011 ish when this happened. So are 2010. So we’re looking at 11 years over the last 11 or 12 years or so I’ve really just really hammered in like delicious food. And as I say, my clients, it’s low inflammation that’s good for people like so I’ve worked with everybody with, you know, different kinds of gut issues, from GI issues to appendix issues. You know, even when I was writing this book, like, you know, life comes in storms, I’ll here’s one more story and then we can move on. But I ended up having coming back from the Dominican Republic where I was on a mission trip. And I just was having weird stuff going on in my stomach. And I went to a gastroenterologist to do some stuff because everything I was knew that I was doing wasn’t working. I found out Yeah, I became sugar intolerant, but it wasn’t just that they ended up asking if I’d like to do a colonoscopy. And a lot of people know that now because colon cancer is on the rise. But I’m 41 typically don’t do it till mid to late 40s. She’s like, we don’t have to do it. But I’m like, Hey, man, if you’re offering I’m taking, I’m all about it. I want to know, so I did it. We all know colonoscopy, the prep all this is fun. But if you can have some relief, I want it relief I want to know is up. And I’m glad I did it. They found two precancerous polyps, which I, which I know can happen. So they remove those and I gotta go back pretty much every year. But after they took those out, I actually felt a lot better. You know? So it shows that even though it wasn’t a major thing, it does happen. And it’s not like a rare thing. I know. It’s pretty common. A lot of people find precancerous polyps. But once they removed those two precancerous polyps, my gut felt better. So it’s just like, you know, if anything, especially the male ego can get away with doctors and all these different things and, and our past stories like, this is part of the life experience. And I think the more we can open up, not necessarily everyone got to go right or both. But like we can just you can just like journal like I offer a free journal because I think writing is very therapeutic. Like just being honest with your life and not sugarcoating. And just like we all experienced life, we all got our ups and downs, nobody’s living like the Instagram life. That’s perfect. We all got trials, whether we’re rich, or was the report whether in the middle, we’ve all got challenges, and some of our emotions and feelings attached to those challenges might be similar. And by sharing a little bit with even just a journal might feel better, but even just share with a friend or maybe even on social media, you might help one person I think we need to get past the point of like being vulnerable. And know that vulnerability is a strength and is masculine. And being vulnerable isn’t a weakness and like for especially for things that you have no control, you have no control over what a grown ass man did to you when you were 5678 years old. So just be honest and be okay and move on. And don’t let that person who did that stuff to you have any more control of your life anymore. So yeah,


Ari: wow. Wow. Just remind me once you remind me not to get into a car with you.


Justen: Somebody said I blew past my nine lives. I can’t remember who said that. My mom said it. My wife has said I think somebody read my books like man do you have like, if you’re like a cat, but I think you’ve got I think I think we just I’ve been reading this book called What is it? It’s called Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl and it kind of points out like if you have a purpose in your mind if you’re meant for more and you know that there’s something out there the will to survive. It’s great. This guy went through the concentration camp and his will to survive was greater than anything he put through. Like he went through sports things and I’ve feel I’ve gone through so it’s like, I think that we’ll just survive and being an optimistic realist is has real power in it and just knowing that like we’re meant for more we’re built for more. We’re meant to help people just like this podcast is probably helping so many people. So


Ari: I gotta tell you something It’s really funny that you that you mentioned Viktor Frankl because I interviewed a guy yesterday, who went through the London bombing in July of 2005. Wow. All right. And he also mentioned Viktor Frankl. You know what he had gone through?

is that? No, absolutely, absolutely. It was, it was fascinating. Anyway,


Justen: have you read the book? Have you read the book?


Ari: I have not read his book. I have not read

Justen: it. But yeah, it’s, it’s definitely a deep one. And then again, like with any book, I always tell people don’t treat any book as religion and there might be some meat in there, you don’t have to, you know, take the meat leave the bones is kind of what I say. I’m not saying it’s that fair. But it might be for some people, like, there might be some, like, things that you may not agree with in there. And, but I think in the overall conferencing message that like, you know, you know, we’re here to help people and, and, and, you know, there are driving purposes survive, we can do a lot of great things. And, and that’s kind of it, like, it’s awesome on this planet. And I get breath in my lungs, like, you know, when I have good and bad days, but I just want to, like make the most of it and keep trucking on and just learn and grow from the challenges that are presented before me.


Ari: Absolutely. Let me ask you this, did you ever get to a point that you got so low in your life that you said to yourself, you know, I quit, I can’t do this anymore? I’ve given up on my dreams? I don’t care if you know, I’m gonna get a quality a little ball and die. I don’t, you know, you must have that must of course, at some point in time? And if so, let me finish if so, how did you climb out of it? How do you make that comeback, because obviously, you made that comeback.


Justen: mean, I went through like, and I talked about this a little bit in my book, I did go through though about bouts of like depression, and I contemplated and even poorly, poorly attempted suicide a couple of times. And, and this was in my teenage high school years. And, and again, this is me, so don’t no one, like, you know, don’t take this personal thing. But I kind of looked at, like, that was an easy route. And and, and that was giving up and, and I couldn’t do that, you know, and, and I looked at like, you know, even though this is easy for me, I really had this belief that it was going to be so much harder for everyone else, you know, even if we go through, like, nobody cares, but I was like, Wait, somebody’s gonna be like, like, and I’m like, oh, no, like farmers like then and it goes back to that, then I let them I let them being whatever it is, right, and you’re hurting me. And then I put it on myself. And so that happened during my teenage years. So I did get some pretty low moments. But, and even when I have some challenges, even in these moments, I always go back to like, I have tools. And now that’s why I always tell people like, don’t just go through life, like you know, like really like, like, have things in place. Because, you know, that’s why I write, it’s so therapeutic just to write down my thoughts. And not sure code them and just kind of get them on paper. There’s a flush there that I talked mentioned, in my bio meditation, I’m big on self care. I think sometimes especially I’m a father of three, especially as parents, especially I see this very common with women. Like they’re doing all these things with their children they needed like their health, the mental health or physical health, all of it. And they say because I’m doing it for them. And then you have the guys that are working 80 hours a week neglecting their health to mental and physical because I’m doing this all to them. But you can’t be the best father, the best husband the best way, unless you’re taking care of yourself. being selfish is selfless to a degree as long as it’s like working out getting eight hours sleep, or as much as you can, you know, you know taking some downtime. And if you can’t find it in your week, at least find a little bit in you know, each day like five minutes of meditation like truly like disconnecting and clearing your mind calming your mind call whatever you will, man, I’ve done five minutes of meditation, and I’ve even tracked it on various like they have all these devices now. It is it’s showing that even science of better recovery than eight hours of sleep if done correctly, because you can really just get out because sometimes we are so stressed that we we go to sleep and don’t really get sleep and we’re having nightmarish dreams and it’s just a vicious cycle or we’re heavily medicated to try to get to sleep to to escape our life. But you know, I think we need to find a better way so yeah, I did dance. Your question is I’ve gotten those I want to say sometimes the devil creeps in I was the first chapter in my book is The Devil doing push ups. That’s the name of the chapter and what that means is essentially like he’s always going to be there he’s always going to creep and so like again, it goes back to like, you know, be okay with your feelings and emotion. I’m not trying to say never be mad, never be upset, never be angry, never be emotional. Just be have the self awareness to address it and not hang out there too long and realize why You might be having those feelings and just be okay with it. But just know that other people are counting on you, you know, and you don’t always have to be 100%. But if you can be the best version of yourself that day or that moment, whether it be through your cell for your kids, for your wife, or whatever it might look like, then just be that person, there is no, you can’t be 100% every day, and be okay with that. But like just, it’s good to have tools, it’s good to it’s good to have control in your life and areas, when life can be so out of control. That’s why I do a morning routine and night routine, I scheduled these things. So when you do that, like okay, this is my standard, these things are going to happen. Even if there’s all these storms and chaos in the middle, at least I got these things, and I can find comfort in these things. Does that make sense?



Ari: Absolutely. Absolutely. That’s why That’s why I call this podcast whispers and bricks, because the bricks of the all the things that get thrown at you that you know, yeah, exactly. But all those other things that are those are the whispers that are talking to you that are helping you to avoid the bricks or to you know, deal with the bricks, etc. Let me ask you this, before we go, who’s the one person that you would point to that, that you would say had the most influence in your life? And why?


Justen: Man, the one person that had the most influence? You know, I’ve been asked this before, and I’ve always thought about trying to give a different answer.


Ari: But don’t give an answer give us a real answer.



Justen: But the real answer is, is honestly like, I wasn’t always a believer in a higher power of faith. But I honestly look to Jesus. And whether you’re religious or not, I look to Jesus and, and not to sound cliche or anything. For those that know I went through a period of not believing and even atheism. It was me on my own on myself that found it. And when I just looked at that guy, just because like this guy, like in a short period of time made such a massive impact. And he knew the benefits of you know, he could he could go into a crowd, but he could also when he could step away, he could work one on one, but he could also climb mountains, he was very physically strong to be able to climb Mount, we’re talking like Adirondack like cliffs in sandals in a row to go be by himself. He saw the value and personal element. You know, he saw the value of like meditation and prayer. And so like, for me, I just, you know, he could love people like that did some of the worst things and I can’t even buy that stuff done. So like, like, I look at that like, and I ended my book, I’d like to add just, you know, all the people that have created or all the people that may have challenged me or maybe weren’t ideal, like I realized, like all these challenges, I would never take back anything. I would never change anything that happened in my life. I am grateful for my life experiences, because it’s made me the father. It’s made me the husband, it’s made me the business owner. So, you know, I realized, well, it’s hard to stomach sometimes I don’t want a perfect life. And I got a quote on this wall. It says do not pray for an easy life pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. Because that that’s it, you know that wow,


Ari: that’s the key. Well, I was going to ask you for words of advice or words of wisdom, but you just laid it out right there. Right there. Would you can you can you repeat what that what that thing what you just said, please



Justen: do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difference.  

Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure. That’s that life is hard. Like brilliant, brilliant, brilliant ring.


Ari: Wow.

So Justin, before we go, if people want to get a hold of you, what will be the best way of doing that? Whether they just want to talk or they have issues or they’re looking for coaching or whatever it is, whatever. What’s the best way to get a hold of you? You have a website? Yeah, email. What is it?


Justen: Yeah, I’ll give you an all D so you can go to my website. And there you can actually find information on my blog, purpose and pain. My personal website is Justin arnall.com. And if you’re listening this podcast is  https://justenarnold.com/

Pretty simple. You can also check on my gym website, which is www.Flexxmp.com And then my email address is like you know, I’m always looking for people to be more be better be the greatest version themselves. and then I’m on social media, from LinkedIn to Facebook and Instagram. I’m all over the place. And if you want to see some of my drumming, I throw some of that up on this whole tick tock. I’m not a big, big thing on tick tock, but I’m on there as well. So


Ari: great. Thanks so much, Justin. Thank you, Justin. I want to thank you so much for sharing your story with me and my audience. Really good luck going forward. I know you’re doing some great things. I know that you’re helping people and You know, with this podcast, you’re going to be helping a whole lot more people. It’s just what you’re doing is great. You know, again, I don’t know if I would have your strength, right giving, given everything that you’ve gone through. I don’t know if I’d be able to do that. So my hat’s off to you continue doing what you’re doing. All right. I’m, I’m proud to call you my friend. And, you know, just just keep on keepin on. All right.


Justen: Appreciate it. I appreciate it very much. Thank you so much for having me on here, man. It’s been a real blast. And yeah, hopefully people find comfort in this and you said, you don’t think you could? I think anything’s possible. Again, I find comfort in a higher power. Because like, it’s easy to just I got a chatroom says Let go Let God because like, I will take care what I can you can take care of the rest. And again, whether you believe it or not, there’s comfort in that. So maybe just give it a try. See if it helps.


Ari: There you go. There you go. Thanks so much. You’ve been listening to whispers in Brixton. I’m your host Ari Schonbrun. Remember, if you feel like you’re stuck in the mud, like you’re spinning your wheels, wasting time, your career, your business your life. If you know you’re not enjoying all the success, satisfaction significance that you desire, then it’s time for you to book a call with me at call with ari.com Check out my whispers and bricks Coaching Academy and until next time, listen to the whispers avoid the bricks and never, ever give up on your dreams. Bye for now.